Stop Being So Needy (With Private Lenders)

2014-11-24-260If you’ve been here for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of being in the reluctant role when you’re talking to a lender.

Today, I’d like to continue that discussion a little more in depth and explain how not only is that important, but when you take the opposite approach and come off as needy and desperately in need of private money, well that’s not good and changes the relationship with private lenders.

It’s actually a mistake that lots of investors make. They approach a private lender saying:

“I need to get money, what do I need to do to get access to your private money?”

You’ve gotta switch that around and change your mindset from “needy” – to a little “reluctant” –then even to little “hard to get.” Doing so can totally change your state of mind and how you’re perceived by potential private lenders.

Remember back in high school some of the kids were athletic and good looking? But for some reason, they were insecure, which translated to a negative perception from the rest of the students. But then there were those kids who maybe weren’t the best looking and were kinda average in everything they did, but they were super confident, so students bought into their confidence. See what I am I saying?

If you change the way you perceive yourself, others will too.

Read this carefully: There’s plenty of fish in the sea…

There’s an unlimited number of people out there, who are and will always be, unsatisfied with their ROI and are always looking for new opportunity.

But here’s the thing, you don’t need their money. You don’t need anyone’s money.

When you approach a situation from a place of need – oftentimes you don’t even mean to – but you telegraph that need to the person you’re talking with.

So instead, mentally saying to yourself, ‘Hey, I don’t need any one person’s money,” is a great belief system to use.

You might be thinking, ‘Patrick, I don’t have the funds to do these deals, so, uh, I do need someone else’s money.’ Hold it right there! You’re missing the point, so read on…

Seriously, you don’t need their money, there’s plenty of people out there who are looking for the great opportunities that you can provide because you’re out there getting great deals under contract.

And bottom line – it makes sense for anyone to take advantage of your terrific opportunities. You don’t need their money, so if they’re not interested, fine, move on to the next private lender.

When you provide an excellent opportunity, you’re not asking for money.

I remember when I first got started, and I was talking with people and planting seeds and cultivating a growing business… I’d go down my list of private lenders and ended up running into a mental roadblock.


Because I felt bad that I was ‘asking people for money.’ (Most of the time people’s roadblocks are themselves.)

To get past that, I mentally said, ‘Okay, I’m not asking people for money, I’m bringing something to the table, I’m calling them as a service to provide them an excellent opportunity for the right person to make a good ROI.

That little mindset shift helped me get past the idea – I’m not asking them for money, I’m bringing them an opportunity.

No, they do not need convincing.

You’re not trying to convince anyone either. Oftentimes, investors will ask the question, ‘How do I convince Mr. Money that he should work with me and give me his cash…’

Well, you don’t.

Just change your language… instead, say, ‘How do I find people who are motivated to invest in this kind of program?’

Confidence, if you don’t have it, borrow it.

This is the idea that you need to go out and successfully apply these principles and ideas and techniques.

So, I’ve built up the confidence over the years that I know what I’m doing and I can confidently provide someone an opportunity…

Maybe you’re new or still not feeling confident about some of the work you’ve done already… so, you can piggyback off my successes.

And if you don’t think you have the necessary confidence, just know that you have a mentor, a partner, someone you can reach out to for help – sometimes immediately – to help you along your way.

So, have confidence in me being there for you so you can make good decisions as you grow and become more confident in yourself.

Patrick RiddleWhatcha think?

How did you gain your confidence? What did you change so your became less needy? Hit me up in the comments section below.

P.S. I’ve created a video presentation on how we are able to locate private lenders from online records. Enjoy.

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